Aisha (Former Muslim)
Testimony of Leaving Islam
Let's go over a little background so you can understand a little bit about me, and why I do what I do.
I've had a difficult childhood but I have always believed in God. I don't know when I started praying to God, but I do know I was very young. That right there is beyond my comprehension because I grew up in a home that didn't pray. They didn't go to church, and in fact never talked about God at all. Yet I prayed to him as a child, I believed in him very deeply. The only reference anyone in my family made to God, is when one day I asked my grandmother whose picture was sitting on the fireplace. The man looked like a family member, he looked familiar, but I didn't know who he was. My grandmother told me that he was Jesus, the son of God; and left it at that.
I am not sure how old I was, I am guessing I was between 6-9. when one night I had intense pain in my legs. I didn't want to wake up my family because I was scared I would get in trouble. So I cried and prayed most of the night. I am thinking it must have been growing pains now, looking back at it. Yet at the time, it was very painful. I cried and pleaded with God. I begged him for forgiveness for all my sins. Though at that time, I am not sure how many sins I had. When a light on the wall caught my attention. It was circular, and then little beings came out of it. They were dancing, like Native Indians. They never said anything, and I was so captivated by them. There was no fear. I knew they were angels. They went back into the circular light and then the light vanished. I lay in my bed, the pain was gone. I was finally able to sleep. When this happened, I didn't tell anyone. I grew up very introverted, and I kept a lot of things to myself.
I will never forget the day when Brother John came knocking on our door. He sat on our front porch and told us about Jesus. He told my brothers and I about how to accept Christ as our savior. We accepted Christ that day. I was 12 years old. Brother John would come and pick us up every Sunday on the school bus and take us to church. A big baptist church, the name eludes me to this day, but it was a start in my journey. Although I had accepted Christ at 12, I was a nominal Christian. I believe that I was not born again, the spirit wasn't there.
Then came the darkest hours of my life. I've closed these chapters, and I wont reopen them. But it is necessary to touch base on my life from my teenage years. It's what led me to being drawn into Islam.
I was 14 when I was put into foster care. I was pushed around a lot through different homes, family homes, foster homes, group homes, and mental institutions. Mental Institutions? Yes Mental Institutions, for trying to commit suicide. Suicide is a demon itself, it's a demon I had to fight for many many years. When I was about 15, I was finally placed into a foster home where I felt at peace. Did I ever try to commit suicide living there? Yes I did, but it was my foster mom that made the difference. She didn't give up on me, or try to push me somewhere else. We had many conversations sitting on her deck. Some having to deal with getting over my emotions. When I am angry take a walk, when I am sad take a walk. Walking helped me deal with a lot of the inner turmoil. A lot of our discussions also had to deal with God and eschatology. She was Catholic, and though she did not attend church she was very spiritual.
Overcoming that demon of constantly wanting to commit suicide, had to deal with forgiveness. The person that hurt me, will never say sorry. The person that hurt me will never even admit that they did any wrong. But I came to the conclusion, if I don't forgive, if I don't let go, I will end up dead. Grudges don't hurt the people you have a grudge about, they only hurt you. Constantly thinking about the pain in the past, only makes you live with that same pain in the present. You will never be healed or not hurt, if you keep hanging onto that. That's why I chose to forgive. I don't mean, to say "I forgive you but I hope God punishes you later." No, that's not forgiveness. Forgiveness is saying, "I forgive you and I am letting go. I don't wish you any harm, I don't wish you to be punished. I only hope one day you will repent to God for your sins, and he will wash them away also." This is forgiveness. When I learned this, It was much easier to overcome suicide. I had a hard time overcoming a broken heart though.
When I was 16, I was so intensely in love with someone. When the relationship didn't work out, I was very hurt by it. This betrayal, this heart break, put me on a very dangerous path. The only solution I saw to getting off that path was by getting married. So I began my search, looking for my partner. The one thing that I wanted most in my life, was a family because I felt like I didn't have one. I believe its at this time when Christ chose to reveal himself to me through three dreams. Why at that moment? At the time, I wasn't so sure. Now I think it was because HE knew the road I was soon going to be travelling down, and he wanted to tell me that it was going to be okay.
Dream 1: I found myself living in a cave. There were clay pots filling up with water near the walls to the entrance of the cave. The lord and someone else who was with him came to the cave and started following me inside. Then I woke up. I am not sure what the dream meant but it must have meant something.
Dream 2: I was travelling in a school bus. It was filled with people. I was in the front of the bus, most likely in the first seat. It was on a very dangerous road, very bumpy, and travelling around near cliffs. I looked at the driver, who was Christ, and he looked at me, like piercing through me, and said to me, "Everything is going to be okay." All of a sudden, the bus was going over the cliff of the mountain. I was very scared we were all going to die. When the bus hit the ground, I looked at Christ and the people on the bus. Everything was okay (I think this had to deal with my journey into Islam. It was very dangerous and I think he was trying to tell me, that everything was going to be okay).
Dream 3: I cannot remember most of this dream, but what I do recall is, I was dressed in white clothes, there were other people there with me. Not a lot, but a few, less than 10. We were fighting Lucifer himself, and I was taking my foot and squashing him on the head (at the time, I did not know about the scriptures saying to squash him with our foot. I believe Christ gave me this dream to tell me that I will overcome Lucifer. I will overcome Islam and yes, we will squash him under our feet).
When I was 17 I became engaged to a Muslim man. He gave me a copy of the Qur'an and I began reading it. Like I've stated before, I was a nominal Christian. I was not born again, and I did not have the spirit of discernment to tell me what was the truth and what was a lie disguised as the truth. I began a small study between the Qur'an and the Bible. The truth is that I had an extremely hard time understanding the Trinity. I was not attending church, so it wasn't like I could ask a priest or a pastor. I also did not have internet access to go online and study. So I just had two books, and I had to figure out who Jesus was. Was he the son of God, was he God or was he a prophet of God only? So I searched frantically through the red letter of my KJV, and said, just show me where Jesus says, "I am God" and I will believe it. I couldn't find it. I couldn't find it because Jesus spoke in parables and I could not understand what he was saying. So I came to understand that since he did not come out and literally say "I am God", then he must of only been a prophet of God.
Five days after my eighteenth birthday, I sat in the mosque preparing to get married. I said the Shahadah, to become a Muslim. I did the Nikkah to become a wife to a Muslim. The mosque gave me a copy of the Qur'an and a copy of the book "Ww Believe In Jesus Too". The mosque failed in one aspect though, they should tell converts what they truly believe about Jesus. If I had known they refused the death of Christ on the cross, I would've refused the Qur'an.
The next year, I tried my best to be a Muslim and learn about Islam. For Jummah prayers, my husband would take me to the ladies room in the mosque and tell me, "Just do what their doing." Laughable now, but no one ever taught me the correct way to pray. I just simply did what they did; stood when they stood, bent when they bent, put my hands up when they put their hands up. The physical parts of Namaaz I learnt, but the actual prayers in Arabic I never learnt or even memorized. I can honestly say that I did try the first two years, but for whatever reason it just didn't sink in.
My third year of marriage, was full of turmoil. I no longer wanted to be married to him. It was the marriage from hell. He refused to give me a divorce. Then came the Islamic brainwashing, that only men can divorce their wives and women cannot divorce their husbands. To say the least, the marriage eventually ended in divorce. I fell into sin, to get out of that marriage.
I remarried another Muslim man. We married in 2006. I was happy. I was happy with this marriage and I was happy that I had gotten the family I always wanted. We have two beautiful children, were finally able to live together, his family finally accepts our marriage. Everything was perfect. Except I was very far from God. Spiritually, I was dead. I stopped trying to learn about Islam. I stopped reading the Qur'an, stopped praying Namaaz.
The Islamic prayers went against my conscience. Although I thought I was a Muslim, I truly doubt if I ever really was one. I couldn't pray in Arabic, it made no sense to pray in a language that I could not understand. It made no sense bowing to an object when I grew up praying to God like he was my friend. I never bowed or had to speak in a different language for God to answer my prayers. To think that God only accepts prayers in Arabic, was completely insane. My husband however wanted the children to go to the mosque on the weekends to learn Arabic. So I began taking them. They thought it was a nice time to run around and have fun and didn't get any real learning from the experience. This was the beginning of the summer in 2013. My daughter just finished a year of Christian preschool and my husband thought she was being exposed to too much Christianity. So to make up for it, he wanted them to start learning the Arabic alphabet (the beginning to learning how to read the Qur'an), Jesus though had other plans.
I had yet another dream. In this dream, there was a tsunami coming. There were thousands of people climbing up a bridge on some kind of net material hung over it. The tsunami was coming. I was climbing and Christ was climbing next to me. I turned to him and said, "you can stop this." He looked at me, put out his hand as one in authority and the tsunami was gone.
My husband sensed my dissatisfaction with Islam. He knew I didn't pray any more, I didn't read the Qur'an. So he told me to choose. I cant have two masters. I cant have one foot in one boat and another foot in another boat. Eventually I will fall down.. I cried to him one night, saying to him.. "I cant take Jesus out of my heart, and put Muhammad in it. I feel nothing for Muhammad. I feel no connection to him." I dream about Jesus, I don't dream about Muhammad.
So my Journey began. So my real searching began. I studied. I studied a lot. From scriptures, to online testimonies of Muslims encountering Christ, to near death experiences from every religion, I searched and I searched. I came to the conclusion that only one religion can be the truth. If Christianity is true, Islam is a lie. If Islam is true, than Christianity is a lie. They contradict each other, so they both cannot be true at the same time. I had enough testimony from both Christianity and Islam, but I was so confused as to which one was the truth.
My husband and his brother sensing my doubts about Islam, were so suddenly interested in pushing Islamic propaganda which they never did the whole 10 years of me being a Muslim. So every night they wanted to play Islamic lectures, Islamic scholars, testimonies of Christians who converted to Islam. I had just had enough. On the last day I let my kids go to the mosque, there were Islamic scholars there. My brother in law told them I had questions about Islam and since he had previously been Christian, maybe he could help me. So he came and sat next to me, and asked me what questions I had. I told him that I didn't have any questions for him, I had heard everything I could possibly hear. I told him that only one way was the truth because they contradict each other, and I didn't know which one was, but I was waiting for God to show me the truth. I started crying and told him, "It would've been better to have stayed a Christian because in the past ten years, I feel like I have done nothing for God." What was his reply? He told me about one convert who never learnt how to pray but died fighting in jihad, and he was granted paradise because of this.
Almost laughable now, but this is how Muslims think. Is this how they recruit converts for Jihad? In the moment, I didn't pay any attention to his comment. However now, I do think about his comment often. So I prayed to God, not to Allah. I told God, "I am searching for you. You said if I search for you with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my being, I would find you. You said If I knocked at the door, you would open it. So God, I am not knocking any more, I am banging. I am banging at that door." I begged God for some kind of miracle to show me what's the truth. Some kind of dream or something. If you show me Christ in my dream, I will follow him but if you show me Muhammad, or Islam, I will follow it. Just point to me which one is the truth.
It didn't come. Why? Because he already fulfilled it. I had already had dreams of Christ. So I went back to the Qur'an. I told myself, If I just find one lie, just one, then I will put the Qur'an down forever. I will give my heart to Christ. I found two very obvious lies. There are many more, but seeing that I did not have the spirit of discernment, two big ones stood out to me the most. The first being the replacement of Isaac as the sacrifice with Ishmael. This was a big lie that was difficult to swallow. I couldn't accept it, but I thought, maybe just maybe, the translations might be wrong, it might be possible. Since Muslims believe the Bible is corrupted.
So I read further and came to the crucifixion of Christ, or in the Qur'an, the lack of the crucifixion. Muslims believe Christ was not crucified at all, but replaced with Judas Iscariot. They believe Christ ascended into heaven and on the way up, some kind of mantle or cloth fell down on Judas and made Judas look like Jesus. Then Judas was crucified and not Christ. Because Allah is the best deceiver. This was something I just could not accept at all. There were thousands of witnesses at the crucifixion of Christ. His own disciples, his own mother. How could his own mother not know that it was not her son dying on the cross? Then the burial of Christ, the resurrection of Christ, Christ appearing to his disciples with his wounds. "Thomas, look at my hands. See where they pierced my side." I could not accept Islam's account.
Then I started asking the real questions. Who would deny the death of Christ? Why? That's when the Holy Spirit began telling me, Lucifer. Then everything just became crystal clear. The Angel in the cave with Muhammad was Lucifer. Muhammad did not know it was an angel, he was terrified so much that he ran home and hid under a blanket. He said, "woe unto me.. a poet possessed.. I should go throw myself off the mountain." It was only later his wife Khadija convinced him it was an angel. But why? Then the Holy Spirit said, to lead as many people away from salvation as possible.
Looking deeper into the issue, I realized how truly possessed Muhammad was. Muhammad said he went to Jerusalem and back in one night on a flying donkey. He saw Jerusalem and could give an accurate description of it. I do believe he went there, but it wasn't from God. It was from Satan. When Jesus was out in the wilderness for 40 days fasting, Lucifer came to him. Tempted him. Took him in one second to the temple in Jerusalem, then showed him all the kingdoms of the world, saying, "if you but bow down and worship me, I will give you everything." He did the same thing with Muhammad, except Muhammad bowed down when Christ did not.
Today billions of Muslims are still bowing down to Lucifer who disguised himself as a God. I now understood that Allah is Lucifer. Lucifer masquerades like an angel of light. He deceived Muhammad, he is deceiving billions and billions of Muslims today. Knowing now that Allah is Lucifer, Allah is Anti Christ, I started looking at eschatology. The end days, as we know it.
Jesus warns us about Islam a great deal in the Bible. Although most people don't understand or even know. It says whoever denies the son and the father is of the anti Christ. Islam is the most prevalent anti-Christ cult on the face of the earth. Christ says, "they will teach you a different version of me." Islam teaches a different version of Christ. Christ says, "when you hear that I am come and am out in the desert, don't go there, its not me." Islam says, that Isa (the second version of Christ) will descend near Damascus. He will give his allegiance to the Al Mahdi, and he will be Muslim. He will look like Christ. Islam says Isa will be 33 years old when he returns, he will have a middle eastern (dark white-light brown) color and shoulder length hair. He will tell Christians that we were wrong for worshiping him. He will tell us to stop worshiping him. He will tell us to come to Islam and worship God only. He will break the crosses, kill the pig, and eradicate the Jizya tax.
Why would he eradicate the Jizya tax? The Jizya tax is a tax Christians pay to Muslims for protection living in Islamic lands. He will eradicate it, because there will be a great falling away of the church. Christ himself said, it would deceive even the elect if possible. It will deceive many many people. So what happens if you refuse Islam? What happens if you refuse to stop following Christ? Just look at the Islamic countries today. What happens today, when a Christian refuses to denounce Christ? They're persecuted, they're tortured, they're beheaded. Christ says that during the great tribulation, those who refuse to denounce him will be beheaded. He says those who are beheaded for his name sake, there will be thrones and they will reign with Christ for a thousand years.
Islam which is from Lucifer tells Muslims in the Qur'an to hate Christians and especially to hate Jews. The Qur'an is preparing Muslims for the rise of Al Mahdi, the return of Isa and the battle for Jerusalem. Or what I call the Day of the Lord. The Qur'an says that the day of Judgement will not come until the Muslims rise up and attack Israel to the point where if a Jew is hiding behind a tree or stone, the tree or stone will speak out saying, "oh Muslim, there is a Jew hiding behind me, come and kill him!" Muhammad says in Hadiths that every Muslim must come for the battle, even if they have to crawl over the snow. Christ says, that day will be the worst day to flea to the mountains, to not go back, do not turn back, do not go in your home to get anything, to run to the mountains, your women will be ravished (raped, because Islam loves raping captive women) Pray that it doesn't happen in winter. The Al Mahdi will rule from the third temple in Jerusalem because by this time, the Khabbah in Mecca will have been destroyed. He will rule in the the temple, and sit in the holy of hollies. He will have the alleged staff of Moses and mark the hands and or foreheads of the Muslims.
I think by now, you can understand why I left Islam. I closed the Qur'an. I gave my heart to Christ. I was baptized, I am born again. Now I am in a predicament, because I am now born again married to a Muslim. Married to someone who is being deceived by Lucifer. When I first came back to Christ, there were a lot of obstacles in my way. My husband did not want me taking the children to church. He also did not want me to park my car close to the road when I attended church, for fear that any Muslim would see my car. Muslims are obsessed with honor, for a Muslim to say I saw your wife at a church would have been dishonorable. The Islamic community recognized me as a Muslim, and if they would've found out I left Islam for Christianity, my husband would not have been able to keep his head up for shame.
For the first month or so, I obeyed him. God started working on my heart and faith though. There were many arguments every Saturday night about religion. One night was really bad, and I heard God speaking to my heart. "If you love him more than me, you are not able of me. Pick up your cross and follow me." Then I had another dream. I was inside my house, standing at the deck door. I could see a dangerous storm coming in the distance. My husband, his brother, and my two children were outside playing. They could not sense the storm was approaching and I was yelling at them to bring the children into the house. They just continued playing and were not heeding my words. This was the last dream given to me that I believe was from God. I believe he was trying to tell me, that I was in the house. I was protected from the storm that's coming, however my family and my children were not. It made me realize, that their eternal souls lay on the line because I was not bold enough to stand up and bring them into safety.
There are times when I have to decide between being obedient to my husband or to be obedient to God. God always wins. I have to carry my cross, no matter what the consequences are. For those of you who do not believe in miracles, God does fulfil miracles even today. Keep praying for that miracle and believe that he will answer it. When I became a Muslim, I was afflicted with a skin condition. It was horrible, all over my hands, it would cause cuts and puss to ooze from my hands. The doctors could not help. The last year I was a Muslim I also had an ear infection, that the doctors could not heal. Every night for a year, my ear would leak a disgusting liquid. No medicine could heal it. When I accepted Christ, that skin affliction vanished. Once in a while I might see a spot on my hand.. but I keep my faith. I tell myself God has healed my afflictions, and it goes away. A few weeks after accepting Christ, I prayed and asked God to heal my ear also. I prayed and told God, I know he can do it, and one day walking through a store, blood started pouring down my face. I went to the doctor right away and he told me to make an appointment with the ENT and not to touch my ear until the ENT sees me. That night I went home and removed the blood clot from my ear myself and my ear has been healed since. So miracles do happen but you need faith. Christ says to pray and believe that God has fulfilled your prayer, and you will be given what you ask for.
I am still a part of the Muslim community. I still have to deal with them, talk to them. I love my Muslim husband and my husband's family. I don't hate Muslims. Like myself, many Muslims are just people who have been deceived. Yet you must realize that the majority of Muslims will never leave Islam. They are anti Christ. They are filled with the anti Christ spirit, so much that if you were to evangelize to them outside of western countries, you would be killed. Evangelizing to them in western countries, can have dire consequences of its own. The punishment for Apostasy in Islam, is death. I could face that punishment. Yet most Muslims say to me, "you were never really Muslim to begin with". Ill accept that. Perhaps I wasn't, deep down inside underneath the veil.
I did not write this note to evangelize to Muslims. I have no desire to offend them, or to debate them. Debating a Muslim is useless. It honestly makes me feel like bashing my head into the wall. The logic of the Qur'an is true because Muhammad said it, because Allah revealed it... because the Quran says it... because Muhammad.. because Allah..., it's a circular repeating argument that makes no sense. The reason I wrote this note is for my brothers and sisters in Christ. To warn you about what's coming. To warn you about Isa. Read the scriptures and understand. Isa will deceive even the elect if possible, will cause the great falling away from Christ. Isa is the false prophet of the Bible. Islam is the anti Christ religion that wants the whole world be come Muslim and be under Shari'ah law. Muslims are the ones in the end days to rise up and fight Christ in Armageddon. On the Dy of Judgement, the most awful name to Allah is Malik al Amlak... THE KING OF KINGS (Sahih Bukhari 73:224).
IN JESUS' WORDS: SEE THAT I HAVE TOLD YOU ALL OF THIS BEFORE HAND. DO NOT LET ANY MAN DECEIVE YOU. DO NOT GO OUT LOOKING FOR CHRIST WHEN THEY SAY HE IS HERE OR THERE, IN THE INNER ROOM OR CHAMBER, IN THE DESERT... IT'S NOT HIM. STAY FAITHFUL TO CHRIST TO THE UTTER END. EVEN WHEN OUR NECKS ARE UNDER THE SWORD, THE BLADE, THE GUILLOTINE... STAY FAITHFUL TO THE END.