Farhan (former Muslim)
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[edit] Testimony of Leaving Islam
I come from a very religious family and leaving Islam was very difficult for me. I wasn't just a cultural Muslim like most people...I was extremely religious, in that I really believed that Islam was the one true religion, and the Quran was the perfect word of God. I had a beard, would wear Islamic clothing as much as I could, would pray all night, and would only associate with Muslims. I wouldn't doubt anything and would get upset when people insulted Islam or made fun of it in any way. I would spend a lot of time reading translations of the Quran (I could read arabic but didn't understand it, like the majority of Muslims) As I read, I would find verses that I found disturbing and contradictory...so I would write them down and ask an Imam at my Mosque. At first he was happy to answer them, but his answers were usually some form of "God says it, we don't question it" or some illogical explanation that made absolutely no sense. (example: non-believers are rewarded in this world for their good deeds. Then why do so many of them suffer so much? Answer: Their rewards are things we all take for granted, like eyesight, and their health... what?)
As I kept going back to him for answers, his mood changed. I got the same bs responses from other scholars. My doubts increased more and more, and I was able to see the obvious flaws in all of it. The Prophet Muhammad marrying a 9 year old girl when he was in his 50s, and having sex with her. The fact that he had 9 wives, and would sleep with all of them in one night. It was mind boggling that Muslims could claim that this man was the best man ever and the ideal role model for men. There was just so much wrong...the contradictions in the way God was described, He (is God male?) is nothing like men but he has a throne, feet, hands...the demonizing of non-Muslims in the Quran, I could never accept that good non-Muslims deserved to go to hell...the verses against women, a man can beat his wife, two women count as one man as a witness, most women are in hell for not obeying their husbands, and so on. For the first time, I could see Islam for what it really was...It was like waking from a dream.
I tried expressing my doubts to my family, but they would get emotional discussing it. After many heated arguments, and reflection on what I want my future to be...I decided that I couldn't live a lie and moved out. Life is good now. I'm more happy than I ever was. I still keep in touch with my family, but we don't see each other as often. Recently my older sister became an ex-Muslim also, and stopped wearing the scarf...we talk all the time and she told me that she knew Islam was crazy long before me, but never said anything for fear of ridicule and being outcast. I've never seen any good evidence for any religion or for the existence of God. It's all man made. Its a good sigh that so many people are leaving Islam altogether or becoming more secular. The world is changing fast. It seems that the end of Islam is getting near, it's being publicly criticised and exposed for the intolerant, evil, sick, insane religion that it is.
Apostasy related links: 
Add your testimony | Other Apostates | Islam and Apostasy | Helpful Hints for ex-Muslims | Qur'an, Hadith and Scholars:Apostasy
